to my love, on our first anniversary
a year ago, i was so scared. my heart was pounding, i was pacing, doing and undoing all my shirt buttons. i put on that navy suit jacket, took a deep breath, and got a ride to the courthouse in dublin. i don't know why i was so scared you wouldn't show. maybe that lasting ache of being hurt before, of being given up on, of having lovers and friends get tired of me and my moodiness, my neediness, my tendency to overreact. i stood there in the courthouse, ready to take the loss, bracing myself for heartbreak. but then, there you were. fastening the button of your navy suit jacket as you came in the door, that smile parting your lips when you laid eyes on me. everything went in slow motion. the world stopped for us. it stopped so we could promise our entire lives to one another in that quiet, perfect, beautiful stillness. and then you kissed me, sealed it, made it real, and the world was back in motion.

a year ago, i got to make a promise to the man i loved, to be with him forever, to share my life with him and love him unconditionally. and now, a year later, i still feel so committed to that promise, even more if possible. i still feel so ready to keep loving, sharing, and living with you. to raise our daughter surrounded by the love we show each other every day, and teach her that this.. this love, this unending, unwavering, unconditional love, isn't just the stuff of fairy tales, but rather something real and tangible, something she deserves to have herself one day. i wouldn't change a single thing about our first year of marriage. i want all of it: the endless flights just to be together for a few hours, the new homes, the new friends, seeing the world together, fighting about nothing, the crying, the missing each other, the distance, the closeness, the never-being-close-enough, the kisses, the love making, learning each other's bodies souls minds hearts inside and out. i never imagined i would experience this kind of love, this fearless, wild love that we have, and every single day i wake up excited to love you even more than i did the day before.

you are my today, tomorrow, and forever. and i can't wait to spend a million more years finding new ways to love you.